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Post by hadopelagic on Nov 14, 2022 2:30:57 GMT -6
When Julean's little sister asked him to "shoutout a girl who has a blog," he'd agreed because he wanted to make Marceline happy, not 'cause he thought the blog would be good.
But it was good. Especially for his purposes.
Although some of Spider's posts were a little, uh, intense, she seemed legit, like she actually believed in bigfoots and shit. Most internet PIs (paranormal investigators) were privately nonbelievers, just actors hamming it up for the audience. Although Julean respected the hustle, he didn't have time for games. He wanted to achieve immortality before turning thirty. The clock was ticking.
With a thoughtful pout, he sat in front of his desktop computer (situated on the 10th floor of "luxury" apartments in the hub of Wathais) and stared at the blog's "ask me anything" button. Julean couldn't just type "Wassup. Wanna collab?" It was a business inquiry, not a Tinder message.
Biting his lip in intense concentration, he typed the following message:
Hey,
I'm a big fan of your work. We should team up. My cross-platform series on paranormal investigation has millions of views.
PS this is a SERIOUS inquiry, just like I'm SERIOUS about finding paranormal activity.
Want to collab?
XOXO
Julean Parker Truth Seeker Influencer DJ
Also PS I'll cover all expenses.
He included links to his TikTok, Instagram, Twitch, and YouTube pages, which featured videos of Julean attempting (and failing) to track down paranormal entities. Then, decisively, he sent the ask.
Hopefully, Spider didn't google "Julean Parker" and find his embarrassing What House persona. Look, he didn't drive go-karts into swimming pools anymore.
Well, he might still do that, but not for work.
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Post by beastly on Nov 14, 2022 20:56:26 GMT -6
Charlotte stared at her phone screen, cuddling the nuul in one arm on her bed as he did so. She'd gone through this 'Julean' guy's work, and as she watched the guy trapeze around on camera, she couldn't say she was terribly impressed. Obviously, the entertainer had nothing real. His follower count was too large, certainly if he had anything real at all, it would be taken down, or he would receive a visit from men in suits. Her first impulse was to blow him off.
As she closed out of the website, though, an idea clicked in her head. Julean had a very big audience. If he was serious about finding the truth, she could get him learning how to actually investigate the paranormal right. They could get real supernatural footage out there, and many people would see it before it was shut down.
Charlotte didn't want to be on camera, though. She'd gained enough attention with trying to save the world. She was probably on the radar. No matter. She could wear a mask, or be behind the scenes.
Giving the nuull a kiss on the top of their head, she sent a private reply.
Hello Julean,
I'm intrested in a collaboration. I would like to discuss things further in a secure location, in person. If you are amenable to this, please meet me at 9pm next Thursday at 4561 Seacreek st, Wathais, WA. -Spider
Charlotte nodded to herself. If he was for real, he'd show up to the abandoned house.
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Post by hadopelagic on Nov 14, 2022 23:58:50 GMT -6
Julean was livestreaming an indie point-and-click horror game when the private reply from Spider arrived. He paused the game, looked at the message on his phone, and raised an eyebrow. Guess he should have expected secrecy from somebody who used a code name. Maybe he ought to get one, too? Yeah. Yeah, he really oughtta. If Julean wanted to be an antihero, he needed a secret identity.
On his computer screen, somebody in the chat complained:
Julean stop being boring.
"Shut up," he told the chat. "A girl just messaged me. Can somebody please define the word 'amenable?'"
He received a mixture of troll answers and Webster definitions.
"Pssshttt. Enough. I wasn't being serious."
In his past life, Julean might have been reluctant to meet a stranger in a random house. It could easily be a setup. But he was indestructible now. Nothing and nobody would ever intimidate him again.
He quickly wrote back (in another ask): Yeah, ya boy's amenable. See you there.
Then, Julean unpaused the game and nearly threw his keyboard with frustration when his character died five seconds later.
((To the abandoned house!))
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Post by beastly on Nov 15, 2022 21:18:39 GMT -6
Charlotte sat on the concrete back porch of the creaky old house, backpack in her lap as she messed with the settings on her camera. It was quite dark, but the little screen lit up, illuminating her face.
The crumbling building behind her had a special place in her heart. She'd gotten her first real EVP while exploring it, and it was intimidating looking enough that she thought it would scare away anyone who wasn't serious about learning the secrets of the paranormal. She wasn't planning on taking Julean inside it, of course. No, the floor had become far too rotten from water damage to safely enter. It was simply a test.
She looked up from her camera, tapping her foot. She wanted him to show up, to pass the test. It would be a game changer to have someone with such a wide reach put out legitimate supernatural information.
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Post by hadopelagic on Nov 16, 2022 17:16:10 GMT -6
The Lyft drove away, leaving Julean in front of the shabbiest house he'd ever seen outside of a horror movie. He double-checked the address to confirm that he was at 4561 Seacreek. Yep.
"Damn, girl. You live like this?" Julean muttered, although he suspected that the house was nobody's home anymore. By "secure location," Spider must have meant, "location that actively repels other people," in which case: mission accomplished!
After hesitating on the sidewalk for a minute, Julean shoved his hands into his tracksuit pockets and walked toward the rendezvous spot. He'd worn a subdued outfit for the meeting: black velour pants, a red windbreaker, and--surprisingly--a shirt. Everything was cheap but practical (which hurt Julean's sense of pride, but he'd recently learned a valuable lesson about bringing designer clothes to sketchy areas, namely, don't).
What would Spider look like? Honestly, considering past meet-ups with people from the internet, Julean wouldn't be surprised if she was five racoons in a trench coat.
Finding nobody out front, he circled the house. Part of him worried that Spider stood him up, while another part thought, "Would that really be so bad?" If the meeting fell through, Julean could spend the night clubbing in a neon playground of ravers, or visit the tracks to play chicken with trains.
Then, he saw it: on the back porch was a glimmer of light, a face illuminated by a bright screen.
"Hey!" Julean threw up a peace sign. "Is that Spider? I was starting to think you'd ghosted me! Pun intended."
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Post by beastly on Nov 17, 2022 3:44:31 GMT -6
The young woman stood up from the porch, and set one hand on her hip. She was a very thin thing, dressed mostly in black, with black hair brought up in a high ponytail and suspicious brown dark eyes that methodically dissected Julean. She was searching him for some quality, some aspect, taking him apart with her eyes. She didn't seem terribly impressed, and brushed a dark strand of hair behind her ear.
"Really? I've been here for almost half an hour. " She eyed him critically, setting her camera back in her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.
" So, you want to find the real paranormal? Not the fake stuff you've done so far?"
The young woman folded her arms.
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Post by hadopelagic on Nov 17, 2022 23:56:13 GMT -6
For a moment, Julean was too surprised to speak. Spider didn't seem thrilled to see him? Look, it wasn't like he needed fanfare, but ... well, to be honest, he'd expected it. He'd flashed his cute smile and everything. Maybe he should have done something special with his hair? Freshened up the electric blue dye? It was becoming a bit dull. He anxiously ran his fingers through the swoop.
"I ... uh ... yeah, I do. Seriously." Julean tried smiling again, but it faltered under Spider's scrutiny. "For the past six months, every quote-unquote haunted house, psychic, and vampire I visit has been mundane as ..." He softened his language for the sake of the professional young lady. "... frick. All of them are normal or liars or delusional. I've never worked so hard for so much nothing."
With a frustrated sigh, he sat heavily on the porch and buried his face in his hands.
"I think I know why all the real stuff is hiding. The ghosts and bigfoots probably signed a contract. It's a contract that makes them stay secret. But I know that they exist. The occult does for sure. Yeah, I know that for a fact."
He looked up at Spider, his head tilted thoughtfully. "All that stuff on your blog, it's legit, right? You know about the paranormal?"
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Post by beastly on Nov 18, 2022 7:58:15 GMT -6
"Well. It's not easy to find the truth," Charlotte nodded, expression becoming slightly less judging. "They cover up the real activity and encourage fakes. The powers that be have a death grip."
She crept over to Julean, sitting beside him. The hunt for the truth was a heavy burden. When he mentioned the contract idea, her eyes widened and she nodded, pointing at him.
" Yes," she affirmed voice intense, then paused and shook her head, "and no... Not everything is a contract. I've met supernatural creatures the government has no hold on. But..."
Charlotte lowered her voice, looking up at the sky.
"I know a lot about the paranormal. I've met and seen all kinds of things, things I can't put on the blog or they'd take it down. I found something once," she was starting to ramble, eager to talk with someone that wanted to listen, "a haunted building. They made me sign something and I can't say specifics or they'll know... but you're kind of right. There are powerful people keeping the truth hidden."
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Post by hadopelagic on Nov 19, 2022 1:01:33 GMT -6
They? The powers that be? Powerful people? All these allusions made Julean nervous, but one was especially concerning.
"The government? You mean they're part of the cover-up, too? Shit." That made everything more complicated, if Spider could be believed. More complicated and more dangerous. He didn't want to piss off the wrong Fed and end up in an underground prison for supernatural entities. "So the SCP Foundation and Men in Black are real. No wonder you're paranoid."
At that, Julean did something he loathed: he turned his smartphone off. Just in case. Then, to calm a sudden spike of restless energy, he grabbed his vape and inhaled. In the back of his mind, Julean heard his sister's voice chiding, "That's going to turn your lungs into raisins. Gross." It wouldn't, though. Nothing could anymore. He turned to exhale the cloud of candy-apple aerosols away from Spider. It dispersed, ghost-like, in the air.
"What will they do if you break the contract, anyway? Is it magic?" For a moment, he was tempted to add, "Like mine?" to the end of that question. That could be a dangerous admission, though. "Or are they just ... your average human tyrants?"
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Post by beastly on Nov 21, 2022 0:45:18 GMT -6
Charlotte nodded, then held up a finger.
"I'm not paranoid. I'm careful. It's only paranoid if you don't have a good reason. I have plenty of good reasons to be careful. "
She looked at Julean thoughtfully. If she was going to show him the truth, she had a duty to make sure he understood the gravity of what he was getting into. The magical world had people fighting tooth and nail to keep regular humans out of it.
"It's magic, I'm pretty sure. They'll just know, and then they'll make me disappear," Charlotte leaned in, scowling," they have resources."
She looked up at the sky.
"...They say they're just protecting supernatural beings, but not all of them want to hide. Some of them do, but people should at least know things like ghouls and vampires are real," she clenched her fists, "government can't even do right by people who they publicly acknowledge exist, can you imagine what they get away doing to ones they don't?"
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Post by hadopelagic on Nov 21, 2022 4:57:19 GMT -6
Maybe it was 'cause Spider reminded Julean of his gloomy, nerdy little sister, but the thought of anyone hurting her really pissed him off.
"There shouldn't even be a government," Julean snarled, waving his vape for emphasis. He considered himself anarchist-adjacent, in that he disliked authority when it impacted his freedom to do whatever he wanted. "They can't disappear you, Spider. Not anymore. I won't let them."
He jabbed the vape in her direction. "Julean's got your back, and I have millions."
Whether Julean was referring to his money or his followers was unclear. In his mind, both made him ridiculously powerful.
"It's lit that they protect the bigfoots and vampires, but what about us? Huh? We have a right to know about dangerous entities, to protect ourselves. How many people have been hurt because of the cover-up? How many innocent guys have exchanged their souls for cursed superpowers because they didn't learn that it's a bad idea to trust demonic salesmen? Probably thousands! The supernatural should be taught in school, same way we're taught about polar bears."
It suddenly occurred to Julean: if the government was aware that magic existed, what else did they know? The location of the fountain of youth?
He smiled faintly at the thought. Maybe, to achieve immortality, all Julean had to do was schmooze the right Man in Black.
"What were they like, the assholes who threatened you into silence?"
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Post by beastly on Nov 23, 2022 11:05:26 GMT -6
Charlotte tilted her head at him, reevaluating something. He wasn't quite as obnoxious as she had first pegged him as. The ego was there, but he wasn't completely self absorbed. He did have money, though, and that did things to people.
She allowed herself to give a small smile.
"I appreciate it," and after a thought, "Charlotte is okay. Just not on social media."
She drummed her fingers on her legs, nodding in agreement.
"I think it's better that people know what's out there. You can't protect yourself from what's around, if you don't know it's real," she held up a finger, "There are humans who hunt and kill supers, and it is a problem. But if people knew that their neighbors were werewolves, but also still just people, I think we cou- demonic salesmen?"
Charlotte was about to question Julean further, but was distracted by his question to her.
"They were government people. The one that made me sign the contract was this big monster wolf guy, all covered in scars."
Lucidus was a scary man. She'd seen him in action, and was mildly impressed. Even if they were on the same side on somethings, though, she knew that they were not allies in the greater scheme. He represented the law.
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Post by hadopelagic on Nov 23, 2022 23:38:34 GMT -6
"Wolfman is working for the government." Julean laughed. "Sounds like he's domesticated."
The part about hunters gave him pause, however; as Julean digested that lovely tidbit, his smile faded.
They wouldn't go after him, right? He was just a guy who healed quickly.
"About that demonic salesmen ..."
He'd been dying to tell somebody--anybody!--about Mr. Sano. But Julean couldn't remember the specifics of the arcane contract. Was he allowed to talk about his deal? Every time he had an "accident" on camera, his video feed malfunctioned. That was freaky. If Julean spilled the secret to Charlotte, would he be supernaturally muzzled? Then how could he stream? Captions and a voiceover machine? No! People loved his high-energy voice! His voice had been in at least four viral TikTok soundbytes!
Julean had to get creative.
"There's a reason I've gone all-in on paranormal investigation," he finally said, looking away from Charlotte, as if embarrassed. "I have a friend. He's the best guy I know. Funny, smart, kind. I'm not ashamed to admit that I love the man."
Not technically a lie, at least in Julean's point of view.
"Not long ago, he was betrayed by his friends, except for me, obviously. I'm ride or die. Anyway, my friend was in a bad mood, and I think that's why the store found him. It was a like a fancy thrift shop. The salesman offered to give him powers in exchange for his soul, and even though my friend's smart, he makes bad choices alllll the time. Plus, demons aren't real! And neither are souls or the afterlife or ghosts or wolfmen. That's what he thought. It's what I thought, too, until recently."
He took a deep breath.
"I promised to help him. It's my sworn duty."
Julean eyed Charlotte with a sly expression. "Now you know my backstory. How'd you get into this world of danger and mysteries?"
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Post by beastly on Nov 25, 2022 18:29:20 GMT -6
Charlotte listened intently, intensely, even. She stared as Julean described how his friend had been tricked into a demonic bargain and lost his soul. She herself had always been paranoid about such things, and made a point of it to read every terms and conditions she was handed. The idea of such a deal was scary, but also... interesting. She wasn't sure what souls were for, or what they did, being that nobody actually was capable of dying for real. Death was but a gateway to a parallel universe. Maybe, if you made such a deal with a demon they could keep you from jumping worlds?
"It's good of you to help," Charlotte said after a moment of quiet, "I know in lore there's always a loophole, and if you're able to find out the details in the deal, that might be a good place to start."
She snorted at the backstory comment, then thought for a moment.
"Aliens."
She leaned back, watching Julean's face closely for his reaction.
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Post by hadopelagic on Nov 25, 2022 22:40:32 GMT -6
The loophole suggestion was solid. After their meeting, he oughtta call Mr. Sano and ask for a copy of the contract. Maybe a really specialized lawyer could review the terms.
"Aliens."
Of all the weird shit he'd learned in the past year (and the past twenty minutes, for that matter), the existence of aliens was among the least surprising. In fact, Julean had been suspicious ever since the meme-fueled "Storm Area 51" event had flopped in 2019. The government had to be behind that! It should've been a second coachella. Instead, there'd been a small showing of well-behaved nerds. Julean had abandoned that sad party after failing to convince anyone to break into the government facility or sell alcohol to an almost-21-year-old.
"You saw something?" he asked, indicating the sky with a quick tilt of the head. "Like a UFO?"
That did open a can of worms. If there were aliens, there had to be intelligent life on other planets, right? Did that mean there were ET ghosts and monsters, too?
He squinted upward.
"I wonder how many of them watch my vids."
Bruh. What if he was a celebrity on Mars?
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