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Post by Sharei on Jul 17, 2018 9:38:05 GMT -6
"Let me guess," Isaac said with a neutral expression and gentle curiosity, neither aggressively invasive, nor dismissive. Aaron seemed like the type that would either regress into unbudging silence or explode if he pushed too hard too quickly. "A lot of people telling you that you need to control your temper? Not to punch the other kids, even if they say awful things? To calm down?"
Rather than start the car, Isaac leaned on the steering wheel thoughtfully. "Am I close?"
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Post by MP on Jul 17, 2018 15:23:38 GMT -6
The words pressed in on him, raw against the truth of it. Aaron looked wary at first, sneaking sharp sideways glances at his questioner. He shuffled in his seat, fingers tensing. But as the agent went on, he dropped his eyes to his lap. It was a poor attempt at a blank face. He only looked surly, defiant. He’d known the lecture was coming. He bit his cheek, the silence stretching.
“He kept copying her,” he said finally, a sullen mumble. The words came slowly - not with reluctance, but with difficulty, as though the anger crowding his throat was a physical obstacle. It wasn’t true what they said. It wasn’t fair. He’d let them make fun about the birthday candles. He never said anything back when it was him. Aaron raised his eyes to the agent’s, the hatred burning there.
“He saw her after school. When she was...He thought it was funny.”
The words were almost strangled. His hands had curled into fists where they lay. Aaron glared into the bloodred eyes, challenging, as if daring the agent to laugh too. In that moment, small and hunched and angry, he seemed ready to fly at the whole world.
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Post by Sharei on Jul 17, 2018 16:56:13 GMT -6
The stared at each other in the silence that followed Aaron's admission. This was the first thing he'd gotten out of the boy that wasn't sullen glowers or pensive quiet. Isaac studied the anger lines in his childish face, but there was no judgment there.
"You should not hit people in the face," he said and reached across the car. He tapped Aaron's temple. "If you hit them here, it is more likely that you'll knock them unconscious with the right amount of force. The back of the head is also a good option, but the force required is greater."
Isaac flashed him a lopsided grin. "I'll show you how later if you promise not to break any more noses. You can kill someone if you break a nose wrong and that would be a handful your mother does not need. Besides, they cannot keep spouting nonsense if they're unconscious."
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Post by MP on Jul 17, 2018 22:24:28 GMT -6
He angled away from the touch, some of the scowl still on his features. Agent Lonan knew all about the fight, the broken nose. They must have told him. Aaron answered the grin with a suspicious stare, waiting for the reversal. When none came, he looked unsure. His posture relaxed; his fists unclenched. You can kill someone. The words were too big for him to truly picture, but they left him feeling small and uneasy as if he'd actually done something wrong. It took the edge off his anger. He looked at the agent uncomfortably. Beginning to be ashamed.
"Okay," he said slowly. Then, his stubbornness flaring again, "But I wasn't trying to break his nose. I just wanted him to sh - to stop saying it."
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Post by Sharei on Jul 18, 2018 12:02:05 GMT -6
"A perfectly valid thing to want," Isaac agreed reasonably. "There is little that is as sacred as a mother to a child. Anyone would do the same in your situation. People tell you otherwise, but they would, and anyone who says its not something to be angry about is a liar. I don not blame you, Aaron."
He wouldn't hand-hold and tell Aaron that he shouldn't do that, in the hopes he'd turn into a well-adjusted man in the end. He just wasn't like that, and he wasn't about to lie.
"But anger is a tool, and you need to learn to use it properly," he advised. "Like any tool, you need to know how to handle it, how to sharpen it, and when and where its okay to use it."
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Post by MP on Jul 23, 2018 11:37:10 GMT -6
Aaron nodded obediently and lowered his eyes to his lap, the brief fighting spark going out. The slump to his shoulders was back. It wasn’t shame - just an imitation to get this over with. A flat resignation. Maybe the agent wasn‘t going to frown and scold like the teachers, but in the end, he turned around and talked just like them. The same old lecture. And Aaron knew better: it was never okay, no matter how much they deserved it. You had to turn the other cheek, be the bigger person, let them say whatever they wanted, no matter how unfair it was. And it wasnt fair.
He knew not to let that show on his face. That only made them mad, got you into even more trouble. When you looked defiant, even the understanding ones started changing their minds. Aaron scuffed one sneaker over the flooring, his features passive, and waited for the car to start, though he no longer had any interest in the drive.
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Post by Sharei on Jul 23, 2018 12:03:08 GMT -6
"You need to be tactical."
The car rumbled to life as Isaac turned the key in the ignition and the engine fired.
"When you sharpen your anger correctly and use it correctly, it can be an incredibly effective weapon. But this means weighing the cost and the gain of any given action."
Hands on the steering wheel guided the vehicle out of the parking garage and out into the city streets. It was darker, getting on in the evening, and the sun was below the horizon. Lizzie had probably expected her son to fall asleep in a corner somewhere to be retrieved when her class had finished. Isaac checked his watch. They had a lot of time.
"Right now you are lashing out at anyone and everyone, but that isn't a good way to do it. All you do with that is hurt people you don't intend to hurt. Instead, you should consider your angles and pick and choose your battles. Some people, like the boy you hit today, aren't worth it. Its the one standing behind him, the bigger, tougher one - he is the one that is worth it. While I don't advocate fighting as your first recourse, if you are going to do it, there is a method."
Isaac considered the options as he maneuvered through the downtown streets, heading for the regular patrol route. "I assume your school has bullies, doesn't it? That is a typical school yard thing?"
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Post by MP on Jul 23, 2018 12:35:40 GMT -6
Aaron shrugged, his eyes on the blur of taillights and street lights through the glass, feeling their glow. The tired, friendly flicker of the street bulbs. The strained sting of a convenience store window. The bland red of a brake light. He’d never wondered whether bullies were normal or not. They were just a part of school.
“I guess so,” he said indifferently.
He didn’t like them of course, didn’t like when they ganged up on other kids. But he wasn’t afraid of them. He never had been, and a lot of them still left him alone, even after the...even after. Some were just talk, and when he met the ones that would back it up with their fists, he was perfectly ready to hit them back, and twice as hard.
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Post by Sharei on Jul 23, 2018 12:44:58 GMT -6
"Do they bother you a lot?" he asked curiously, and he wasn't sure what it said about him, but he felt himself starting to get invested. As though the thuggish, childish politics of middle school was something engaging and entertaining and worth putting his mind to.
He scoffed at himself. What was that nonsense?
"That could be a person who would make a suitable example if they gave you an opportunity."
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Post by MP on Jul 23, 2018 15:54:49 GMT -6
The corner of his mouth stretched as Aaron considered. True, there were arguments sometimes - maybe even a small fight. But not because he was a target. Not usually.
“No,” he answered honestly. He could have just shrugged again, but that would be rude, and whatever he felt about the situation, Aaron wasn’t trying to be. Besides, there was something about the way Agent Lonan talked to him - a thing he was hardly aware of himself - that made him want to answer. Even if it was a lecture, it didn’t sound like one. It confused him, and while Aaron listened, it was with growing uncertainty. He couldn’t see where this was going.
“Is that what you do?” he asked after a pause.
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Post by Sharei on Jul 23, 2018 16:11:15 GMT -6
A beat of silence followed the boy's question. The vehicle slowed and took a right, the blaring red of the stoplight fading into the distance as they crossed onto the freeway. It was a long moment before he answered, his words slow and measured.
"I used to," he admitted. "I do not anymore."
Isaac felt the question coming before Aaron said it. "Why not?" the boy echoed.
The agent tapped the steering wheel with his index finger. "I decided that the people who say things like that do not really matter to me. What real power do they have? The only person that has any power over my life and my decisions is me. By... being angry with them, by retaliating, it said that I cared what they thought. It made what they said more real. I have things I want to do with my life and there is no room for them. I don't care. I chose not to."
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Post by MP on Oct 16, 2018 17:11:37 GMT -6
"Oh."
The frown was back, a doubtful little crease between his brows. Aaron turned to look out the passenger window again. He didn't argue with the agent, but the brief spark of interest had faded.
Of course grownups could say that - they didn't know what it was like. They never had to deal with the other kids making faces at lunch time, or copying what they'd seen around the lockers. They never had to sit down and listen to the teachers asking them if everything was alright with that tone. It did matter what they said, because if you let them keep doing it, it would never stop. The talk would get worse and worse, and - and none of it was true. She wasn't crazy - she wasn't - and he'd fight them all if they said it again.
His expression blackened as he watched the passing city, his fingers curling over his knees. But Aaron said nothing. You couldn't say these things to a grownup.
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